A question for Fem Lesbians: Do you find it more difficult than straight women to make friends with women?

To clarify: When I say, "make friends" I mean regular pals, not sexual relationships.





Do you find it more difficult because your lesbians? Like for example, your out of school and have a good job. You'd like to make friends and have a life but the women at work have problems being around you because your a lesbian. Because your feminine and cute, some women who aren't as pretty may feel uncomfortable around you. They may even find you attractive and feel put off by it. Maybe some women who are religious feel that your a moral problem so they avoid you. (This also applies to being in school with other students who may treat you this way too).





Do any of you feel this way when all you want is to be treated like a human being, and have normal human interaction with people like everyone else? Or is making friends as easy for you as any straight woman? Or do you find it easier to make friends with guys. Or do guys just try to get in your pants even though your les?





Just wondering.

A question for Fem Lesbians: Do you find it more difficult than straight women to make friends with women?
No, but generally I don't out myself to new people until I've known them a little while. I don't really feel my sex life is anyone's business.





I find that guys have a hard time taking me seriously when I tell them I'm a lesbian. They all seem to suffer from the "magic penis" delusion: one roll in the hay with them and I'll be straightened right out.
Reply:I'm not sure how to compare if it's more difficult for me being a lesbian to make friends than a straight woman, since I've only experienced being a lesbian, you know?





But I don't seem to have trouble making friends in the workplace.





Even though I am out at work, I don't exactly wear a "Hi, I'm gay" nametag, so it tends to come as a surprise to co-workers when the topic comes up. People here just sort of say, "oh" and then rephrase their question using the other gender's pronouns.





I have run across two or three people who have declined to continue our friendship on religious/moral grounds once they find out I'm a lesbian. I respect their decision, and think we are both better off that way. After all, conditional friends aren't really friends.





As to making friends with guys? Again, it seems to me to be no problem. I have a good group of guy friends from college, and a number of guy friends at work. It's been a very long time since any guy friend made a move on me. But I think that's because I tend to choose respectful people as friends, you know?





I think as one gets older (I'm nearly 38), one's sexual orientation becomes less and less of a factor in making friends of any stripe, particularly for those of us who have been off the market for a long time.





Hope that helps.
Reply:I have read this three times - I don't see your point.





Why would me being gay limit me making friends?





What IS your point?











OH, IS THAT HOW IT WORKS? THANKS FOR THAT.





MY POINT IS THAT YOUR QUESTION IS RATHER STUPID.





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Reply:I'm still in high school, but a lot of the girls think I'm too "girlie" to be a lesbian. Almost all of my old friends abandoned me after they found out. I don't have that many friends, but I have a few who really don't care. They are straight girls, and they're cool hanging out with me. I have almost no guy friends because I will make a guy friend and then he'll realize for sure that I'll never date him and he'll just move on and forget about me. They always try. I always feel betrayed too, because it tells me that they weren't nice to me because they want to be my friend, it's because they wanted sex or something. They also don't respect the fact that I am gay.
Reply:Yeah, I KNOW what a friend is...and NO I have no trouble at all making them.
Reply:I meet regularly for lunch with a group of ladies. Three of us are fem lesbians. the others are straight. This has been going on for sometime and I think we are good friends.


Best wishes, Rose P.
Reply:I think it all depends on where you live and what people you come in contact with. There's no need to out yourself when you first meet someone. I don't mean hide who you are, but you just don't introduce yourself that way. I do have more guy friends, but I think that's based on shared interests.

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